


Flowey Is Not A Good Dungeon Master

by UndervaluedAgent



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Cute Flowey (Undertale), Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Emotional Flowey (Undertale), Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Houseplant Flowey (Undertale), Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, Maybe there is some plot, No Plot/Plotless, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Selectively Mute Frisk (Undertale), Snark, Yup there's plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-12 22:43:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 837
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21484057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UndervaluedAgent/pseuds/UndervaluedAgent
Summary: Just some good old-fashioned D&D with some Undertale characters. I wonder what could go wrong?Though the title might suggest so, this work is in no way inspired by or related to Flowey Is Not A Good Life Coach. This is just something I decided to type out on a whim.
Relationships: Flowey & Papyrus (Undertale)
Comments: 21
Kudos: 50





	Flowey Is Not A Good Dungeon Master

"HAHAHAHAHA!!!" Flowey nearly shrieked in excitement, "YOU FOOLS REALLY THOUGHT YOU COULD TRUST ME?! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!!!" 

Everyone else looked around in horror as the one they thought they could trust turned on them. Well, everyone except for Papyrus. Papyrus had known what was happening the whole time, since Flowey had told him the plans a while back, but he didn't want to spoil the surprise. So he faked shock, even though he was secretly filled with excitement. 

"N-no! This can't be happening!" Alphys cried.

"OF COURSE IT ISN'T! YOU SEE, THIS IS ALL JUST A GAME, AND YOU ARE ALL---"

"woah, wait, hold on," Sans suddenly cut in, "so you get mad at us when we metagame, but it's okay when you do it?"

"Yeah, punk!" Undyne slammed her fist on the table. "You've gotta be fair if you want to stay Dungeon Master!"

Flowey rolled his eyes. "You know that Anders is a villain, and the stuff I just said is stuff that a villain would say? And Alphys-" he tossed an inspiration piece at her "-this is for staying in character UNLIKE THOSE TWO."

Alphys caught the inspiration piece and set it to the side. "So, d-does anyone have any ideas for a plan? she said in her out-of-character voice.

"SMITE WITH MY HOLY BLADE," Papyrus said.

"i dunno, just heal people when they need it," Sans shrugged. 

"Vicious Mockery!" Mettaton called out.

"CHARGE!" Undyne yelled.

Frisk just shrugged, and Alphys said, "W-well, I was hoping for more of a strategy, but---"

"Nahhhh, let's just wing it and see what happens," Undyne proposed.

"yeah."

Thumbs up.

"Good idea."

"SURE."

"Uh, o-okay."

"Okay, are we ready?" Without waiting for a response, Flowey put on a scary face and said, "Good. Roll for initiative."

"seventy-three."

".....Sans, you idiot! You don't use a d100 to roll initiative!"

"whoops."

***

"AHAHAHAHA! NOW THAT I HAVE KILLED YOUR WIZARD, WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW? CRY?" Flowey taunted in his villain voice.

"HE KILLED MY GIRLFRIEND! I RAGE!" Undyne shouted.

"...um, Undyne? W-we aren't dating in-game, remember?" Alphys said.

"Oh.....well, I STILL RAGE! NGAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!"

"Okay---" Flowey said.

"I ATTACK, AND I GOT A NAT TWENTY! ROLLED AGAIN, IT'S A CRIT! THIRTY-FIVE POINTS OF DAMAGE, FUCK YEAH!"

'Do not swear in front of the child,' Frisk signed.

"yeah, guys, don't swear in front of the kid. it's rude," Sans said.

"In a sudden burst of fury, you beat Anders to a very dead, very bloody pulp. Well done," Flowey said, somehow dramatically and flatly at the same time.

"i cast revivify on the wizard," Sans said.

"Yep, she's happy and alive again, though she is weak. Everyone levels up," Flowey said morosely.

"Sweet."

Frisk clapped their hands.

"Oh, hell yes."

"nice."

"Th-that's great!"

"WOWIE," Papyrus flapped his arms happily.

"Yeah, game over. Go away."

_That's weird,_ Papyrus thought, _Flowey always wants to keep talking and give foreshadowing for next game. Why isn't he?_

Everyone went off to their respective corners of the huge house, but Flowey stayed still. It wasn't like he was trapped until someone came and moved him, as he had learned how to carry his pot around using friendliness pellets. Papyrus decided to check on him.

"FLOWEY?" Papyrus tapped on the pot a couple times.

"What do you want. The game's over, numbskull," Flowey said.

"YOU AREN'T DOING WHAT YOU USUALLY DO AFTER A GAME. ARE YOU OKAY?"

"I---" Flowey sighed. "It's nothing. I'm just being dumb again."

"YOU LIKED THAT CHARACTER, DIDN'T YOU?" Papyrus tapped his foot anxiously.

"Yeah, and, well.....some of the things that happened reminded me of The Incident," Flowey confessed.

The Incident. That's what everyone called the event where Flowey attacked and took the six human souls, along with all the monster souls.

Papyrus attempted to comfort him by saying, "WELL, I DON'T THINK ANYONE'S STILL HOLDING THAT AGAINST YOU, SINCE IT DID LEAD TO OUR FREEDOM."

Flowey stayed silent and curled in on himself, so Papyrus decided to take a different approach.

"I SAW A NEW PRE-MADE ADVENTURE AT THE GAMING STORE TODAY. DO YOU WANT TO GO GET IT, POINT OUT EVERYTHING WRONG WITH IT, AND EDIT IT AND MAKE IT BETTER?"

Flowey perked up somewhat. "You bet! Let's go!"

"OKAY, LET ME GO FIND THE HOUSE KEY." Papyrus ran off to look for the house key, and came back thirty seconds later with the key in hand. "LET'S GO!"

Flowey let Papyrus pick his pot up this time, something he doesn't usually let happen. Once in a while, it feels nicer to be carried. 

"Hey, Papyrus?"

"YES, FLOWEY?"

"I guess I should be sorry I keep spoiling the game for you by talking about it too much, but honestly, I don't feel sorry about that. I just feel sorry for not feeling sorry."

"DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT! I RARELY GET TIRED OF HEARING OR EXPERIENCING THE SAME THING TWICE! IT DOESN'T BOTHER ME! AND YOU KNOW WHAT?"

"What is it?"

"I'LL NEVER GET BORED OF LISTENING TO YOU."

**Author's Note:**

> If you lost brain cells whilst reading this, I'll go play a sad song on the world's smallest violin for you. If you felt any feelings near the end, you can get a custom tune.


End file.
